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Apr. 14th, 2011

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Why the hell don't I have kids?

      I am childfree. I have no children for many reasons, some frivolous and some quite serious. The fact is, I think I've spent more time thinking about my reproductive choices than people who just decide it's time to have babies based on some mythical biological clock, societal pressures, peer pressure, or just plain not realizing that not having children is, in fact, a real option.

      I do not hate children. Hating them would require a depth of emotion toward them I simply do not have. Children have also never done anything to me so hideous as to invoke my hatred, either. I merely dislike them. I actually like the occasional individual child, but as a whole, I find children distasteful. Their high-pitched voices grate on my nerves. I don't know what they are talking about when they babble, and I do not know how to respond to them when they do. They smell odd, like a combination of apple juice, maple syrup, and urine, because apparently, their parents refuse to bathe them. They have creepy little piranha teeth, although I am aware that they would look even more terrifying if they had adult-sized teeth. Their giggles always sound slightly demonic. When they throw tantrums, I wish the parents had decided to have oral sex.

      I also do not have the lifestyle that would be conducive to raising children. Parents who are reading this are probably already becoming quite gleeful, perhaps even with some white foam collecting at the corners of their mouths. Let me burst that bubble right here. My husband and I live in a small, one-bedroom apartment. We pay our bills, put food on the table, and maybe have enough for some extras here and there. Both my husband and I work. We do not have the money to afford daycare, nor do we make enough money individually to support the household. Sometimes, we eat Ramen out of necessity instead of fun.

      This may be surprising to parents, because they tend to think we childfree people have the whole world on a string. Parents accuse the childfree of being selfish, immature, drunken partiers who think no further than the next hedonistic night of debauchery. Where do they get these ideas? Perhaps this is how they lived before they got knocked up by a one night stand and saw the light? Perhaps that is what they would like their lives to be like now? I don't know, and I resent the hell out of it.

      At one time, I actually thought I'd be having a child. One. Single. Child. I never wanted more than one. Of course, I never really thought much about it. I was just going with the flow. People grow up, move out, get married, have kid(s). I did not realize, and how stupid is that, that I was not required to breed. It isn't written anywhere that we must breed. It's more insidious than that. Movies and novels with a romantic bent usually end with the couple either having or planning to have babies. We are inundated with images of famous people and their children.

      We rarely are exposed to healthy images of childfree people. The portrayals of childfree people tend toward the eccentric, grumpy, old man and the elderly woman with as many cats as she has years to her age. We see movies in which those without children are the drunken party-animals parents think are the norm in the childfree community. We read books in which the aunt with no kids is flaky and self-centered. Women without children are seen as sub-human, heartless, frigid, and unfeeling. They are seen as selfish bitches and control-freaks. Men without children are more accepted in society, but they, too, get a bad rap.

      Now, I know I will never have any children. No. Children. Ever. That is an incredibly freeing revelation. I did not realize how trapped I felt by the strange notion that I should have children. I am just not made to have them. I am not infertile, although that isn't really anyone's business. I just do not want kids.

Dec. 23rd, 2010

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Joy to the world,
The Ramzeldamar is come.

Joy To The World
from the Christmas Song Generator.

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Shall I play for you,
Pa-rum-pum-pum pum,
On my Ramzeldamar.

Little Drummer Boy
from the Christmas Song Generator.

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Christmas is coming,
The Ramzeldamar is getting fat,
Please to put a penny
In the old man's hat.

Christmas is Coming
from the Christmas Song Generator.

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Dec. 16th, 2010

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Writer's Block: So close to reality.

OK, call me a dork, but I would like to just bask in the joy and fuzziness of a bunch of puppies. No messes to clean up, no worries about sick puppies, just all the silliness and cuddles from puppies. I guess I'm feeling like a sap today.
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(no subject)

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Saturday I bought porn for mistress_moriko (-10 points). Last Friday I broke wordvagabond's X-Box (-12 points). In February I bought porn for phoenixxfyre (10 points). In May I stole ramzeldamar's purse (-30 points). In August I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points).

Overall, I've been nice (284 points). For Christmas I deserve a wedgie!

Sincerely,
Ramzeldamar

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Dec. 8th, 2010

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Childfreedom

So, I was turned down by a childfree community on LJ, because I don't have enough childfree content on my journal.

I'm not militantly childfree, but I am adamant that no human being is ever entering this world through MY vagina.  I'd willingly give up intercourse to assure that.  There are tons of fun things to do during grown-up-fun-time that won't result in a fleshlump in my uterus.

Luckily, the world has wonderful things like sterilization.  Matt has decided to get a vasectomy as soon as we save up the copay and he has two days in a row off work.  I might just look into Essure to make doubly certain that we won't spawn.

I get bingoed by students at least once a week.  "Do you have kids?"
"Nope."
"Why not?"
"Don't want 'em."
"Why not?"
"My business, not yours."

A note to parents:  Just because I don't want kids does not mean that I think your spawn are evil and worthless.  If you are not my friend or my relative, keep your twatlings away from me.  They smell bad; they are sticky; and they have no manners.

For the most part, the children of my friends are pretty cool.  For instance: Wordvagabond's oldest is quite intelligent and sweet.  She is capable of playing on her own.  She is polite in public.  She is well-mannered in public.  She's got her own unique personality.  She can hold a conversation.  Good kid.  The youngest hasn't gotten to the stage yet where I can tell.  She's still in the cute toddler stage.  I'm sure Wordvagabond will do just as well with the youngest.

For parents I don't know - your child is not a unique snowflake who should be able to express his or her beautiful, special, delightful creativity by pulling on my clothes, screaming gibberish, throwing tantrums on the floor of the mall, licking the tops of ketchup bottles in restaurants (seriously.  I saw this happen), coloring on the walls, throwing basketballs AT MY CAR, hitting my dog because they don't know the word "gentle,"  biting me, headbutting me.

I do not want to hear the same stupid joke thirty-seven times in ten minutes.  I do not want your brat hitting me with a wand and squealing, "Glitter, glitter, glitter."  Don't let your spawn smack my butt and laugh.  It's inappropriate.  I don't want to hear, "Me gots to go poddy."  Teach your child proper grammar.  My mom did it.  Why can't you?

Also, please don't bitch about being a parent in one breath, "It's soooooooooooo hard.  I'm up all night and have to do chores and have to cook dinner and have to take care of everyone when they are sick and blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."  then say, "It's the hardest job in the world, but it's all worth it.  YOU should have kids."

Why the hell should I have kids?  Listen to yourself!  Why would I want to put myself through that?

And I'm sorry, but it's not the HARDEST job in the world.  I'm not sure which job is, but I'm pretty sure it might have something to do with putting your body in harm's way for crap pay and having to tell people their kid is dead and stuff like that.  My vote is soldier or police officer.  Not parent.  "But they get to go home at the end, and I am stuck with it."  Bullshit.  Ever hear of PTSD?  Limbs shot off?  Facing death every fucking day?  Unless your child is a sociopath, you don't have these problems.

Thanks for reading my rant.  Sorry it's so disjointed.  I'm just feeling a bit pissy today.

Oct. 23rd, 2010

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Writer's Block: Family planning

If you wanted to have children and had trouble conceiving, would you be more likely to consider IVF, surrogacy, or adoption, and why?

I'd be more likely to consider adoption of a non-baby, perhaps one with special needs.  People want their own babies, and when that doesn't work out, they settle for someone else's baby.  Older children and special needs children need families too.  Unfortunately, people can't get their heads out of their own sorrow over infertility that they see that being infertile isn't the worst thing in the world.  Having people pass you by for adoption because you aren't a perfect baby is probably much more depressing and heartbreaking than being infertile.

Oct. 21st, 2010

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Day 06 - My Day

Woke up at 06:00.  Brushed teeth, arranged hair, got dressed, put on glasses, drove to work, enjoyed my day, picked up Hubbs, went to JoAnn fabric, went to McD's, bought cigarettes, came home, wrote this.


Day 01 - Introduction
Day 02 - Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 - What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favourite memory
Day 18 – Your favourite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favourite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

Oct. 19th, 2010

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Day 5 - Definition of Love

Definition of LoveCollapse )

Oct. 14th, 2010

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Meme Day 05 - My Definition of Love

Gods, this is a difficult one.  Processing, please hold.  I can not write about this just after cleaning a toilet badly in need of said cleaning.

Day 01 - Introduction
Day 02 - Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 - What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favourite memory
Day 18 – Your favourite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favourite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

Oct. 13th, 2010

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Meme Day 4 - What I Ate Today

A bag of baked barbecue flavoed Lays
Mixed veg and veggie crumbles with a Greek yoghurt garlic sauce
peanut butter, ovaltine, almond milk smoothie.
Flipsides pretzel crackers

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